Job interviews are terrible. I am positive they are meant to trip you up, make you say things you shouldn’t or otherwise wouldn’t, make you sweat in noticeable places and help you feel like you ought to be in an institution. Who made up those questions, anyway? What are three of your worst qualities? Three of your best? You must answer those questions and quickly. Of course you didn’t prepare to be asked THAT! Worst qualities? Heck, how can I even answer that? Not only that, but you also have to find three qualities that aren’t SO bad and have a large enough vocabulary to be able to articulate how not-so-bad these three worst qualities really are. Okay. I stumbled through it. But, whatever I rambled on about wasn’t my absolute worst quality. This is my worst quality:
In the words of Ed Bassmaster, “Would ya just look at it?!” You can tell I mean well. I do TRY to organize and tidy this crap. I even have greenery back there… you know, for oxygen. I should probably water those. A zebra that I don’t know what to do with. Sometimes I talk to him. He needs a name. Angry Birds hold my unopened mail. I have a bill box. Mr. Piggy Bank is hiding in there somewhere. This is ridiculous. How do I ever find anything I need? You do not want to see my bedroom.
Someone hire a master organizer for me. She can live in my laundry room and just organize all the time. I’ll tell everyone I’m perfect and they’ll believe me.